When I play chess I always take one of two roads which both lead to defeat.

Either I play very carefully, leaving my opponent open to all of the attacking. With carefully I mean I only move important pieces to spots which are defended.

Or I play too recklessly which makes me lose important pieces to the stupidest of decisions. Seriously, I lost tons of queens to spots which were very clearly defended.

Either way I always lose. So:

Does anyone know of: tactics, videos, rule of thumbs, anything. Which can help to find a good balance?

Also: When should you start strategising about check-mating the king?